Ah, the classic option of choosing the lesser evil. Trying to be a do-gooder in the land of magic, however—there aren’t very many “lesser” options for the evil that’s out there. Tonight, our motley group of friends finds themselves embroiled in decisions both major and minor, and there is also a musical number from Les Mis. Let’s go:
Worst Duel: Eliot is challenged by the King of Loria to a duel in order to resolve the conflict between their kingdoms. Unfortunately, we learn that Eliot’s skill in lifting a martini glass far outstrips his ability to sword fight. Fen rushes to his rescue with a legendary sword that her family has just, y’know, incidentally held onto for generations, or something. Its power can only be activated by a king and HEY! Fen’s married to a king! Eliot says the incantation and instantly becomes the Inigo Montoya of Fillory. But Eliot has a major crush on the Lorian king, and after the wellspring craps out yet again (extinguishing the magic blade), Eliot dominates the fight the only way he knows how: with sex appeal. Looks like a loophole in the law! Turns out Fillorian High Kings are entitled to spouses of both genders, so. . .
Worst Babysitter: Margo is desperate to help Eliot win the duel once the wellspring goes out again. So desperate, in fact, that she agrees to deliver a royal baby to the fairies in exchange for a plumbing job on the wellspring. She sold off Fen & Eliot’s baby to the fairies! (Side note: why are fairies so obsessed with babies?) Of course, she doesn’t give Fen the whole story but gets her to agree to do whatever Margo asks her to do in future (huge mistake). To her credit, Margo feels awful about all this. OTOH, Margo just sold off an unborn child to the fairies.
Most Heartless: Julia’s loss of shade is not wearing well on her. She takes the most appalling risks and generally has lost whatever shred of a conscience that she had left after the Reynard encounter. When Penny, Kady, and Julia discover that Reynard’s demigod son is a politician (because OF COURSE he is), they ambush him in his congressional offices only to end up fighting among themselves to hold Julia back, because she wants to kill him and capture his energy in a ball. Later, Julia throws Quentin under the bus (almost literally) when Reynard shows up at Brakebills. She demands that he release niffin Alice to defeat Reynard, but only a last-minute assist keeps it from ending in blood.
Dumb Love Award: Quentin is still so protective of Alice that he doesn’t want to release her, despite his body breaking down from its role as a niffin-cage. He goes to great lengths to avoid this, but in the end he smashes the niffin box he thought might hold her and just. . . lets her go. Will we ever see Alice again?
Most Musical Award: Margo redeems herself slightly by leading Eliot into battle with an infectious rendition of “One Day More.” It looks like the writers have firmly established a yearly musical number for the cast, and I appreciate this very much. What better way to go into battle than singing a classic musical number lustily, with your besties by your side?
Next week: Will Jane Chatwin come to the rescue? Anything to do with clocks and time makes me look for her, so hopefully, the gang will get a profesh-level assist from someone who knows exactly how Fillory works.