“Sweet sassy Satan!,” as Old Granny Kraus used to cackle. (No, she didn’t.) Is it that time of year again already? Now that you mention it, October’s approach does explain a few unsettling visions I’ve been blaming on an outdated glasses prescription. How when I get on the train every morning, I expect everyone to turn toward me all at once, their faces pale, their eyes just black hollows (it’s a rough commute). How when I watch The Golden Girls (shut up), I keep imagining Sophia hunched over Blanche’s corpse, getting her fill.
Yes, fiends, it’s time to join hooves, sing kum-ba-yaaaargh!, and celebrate the eighth annual 31 Horror Films in 31 Days Challenge. If you’re hankerin’ to dig deep into our boneyard, you can read our confessions from 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014. and 2015. Or simply read the below FAQ—chant it aloud, if you can, atop the pentagram you have painted in your attic.
OUR FETID FAQ:
1. Do I need to watch a movie every night?
Complaining already, are you? Listen, if you to cram all 31 movies into the last 48 hours, it’s your funeral.
2. Can I watch a movie I have seen before?
You can. You can also eat the same food every meal. And listen to the same song on repeat every day. You terrible human.
3. Do I have to finish every movie?
Yes, my dearies, you must clean your plate.
4. How do I play?
Use the Twitter/Instagram hashtag #31HorrorFilms31Days and tweet each film along the way, complete with a brief, pithy description/review. Example:
1. ANNABELLE. A doll so creepy they didn’t bother writing a movie for it. Hey, look at this doll. Roll credits!
5. How do I win?
You “win” as long as you manage 31 films before midnight on October 31. (But if you want to “really win,” you need to rack up more than anyone else you know.) And if you fail to watch 31? Then you are forced, as punishment, to spend November 1 watching Spooky Buddies (see below). You’ve been warned.