VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED
Even Kady’s mom, bleeding out of her eyeholes, wasn’t enough to merit a “viewer discretion advised” warning. In this episode, blood out of eyeholes isn’t anything compared to the Roman-decadence-style lives of Alice’s parents. They live in a boring old Chicago suburb but they just love to throw parties . . . er, orgies.
I’ve divided up the night’s events into semi-separate storylines because the action was fast and you might not have caught everything. Here’s what I saw:
So in the last episode Penny grabbed the button that is supposedly the transport to Fillory. Instead, he emerges through a fountain into the Neitherlands . . . neither here nor there, a sort of purgatory. A nasty little cheerful-trickster lady arrives to greet him and tries to steal his button, and while attempting to escape, Penny accidentally chutes into a library. This is a great sign, right? Libraries have all the answers! In this library, there are some serious books. The librarian makes him some photocopies (because he forgot his library card, RIGHT? Ugh.) of Martin Chatwin’s life book to help in the group quest for Fillory, and Penny is tempted to grab his own life book and see what’s in store for him. But the Neitherlands librarian warns him that most people aren’t happy with what they see so Penny is left to wait until the fountain portal back to Earth reopens. And it’s not going to reopen until Quentin (Q) and Alice do some sex magic. Because of course they have to do that.
Alice hauls Q to her house in the Chicago suburbs, which, apparently, is less of a home and more of a Roman orgy. Her dad is toga-ed up and hauling around a sex slave in chains while her mother is shooting them withering glares and quips from the bathtub. Apparently Alice’s childhood wasn’t so hot after all. But Alice’s mom knows a traveler who can help Q and Alice find Penny. It turns out, that if Penny’s in the Neitherlands, they need to unseal the Earth fountain for him with some sex magic. And not just any sex magic, either. This leads to Alice confessing that she is not exactly getting hers, and Q has to rise to the challenge not just to help Alice achieve, um, what she’s been missing but also to finish the spell properly. A lot is at stake. Q had better throw down that Garden State soundtrack and get to work.
Julia is joining up with her friends on Free Trader Beowulf. What is that, you ask? To explain: Free Trader Beowulf is an online chat forum where (in the books, at least) Julia had to solve fiendishly difficult puzzles to gain membership. She eventually learns that the traders there are magicians and they get together to research and perform some seriously heavy magic. It gets them in massive trouble.
Anyway, they all show up in Julia’s living room (which is filthy, girl, clean up your place for visitors!) and it turns out one of the Traders is Kady! Well, hello there, Kady. The two gal pals are charged with learning a pile of spells while the others work on an unspecified project. Kady and Julia realize things are getting a little weird when time rewinds on them . . . what sort of magic are they getting into exactly? TIME MAGIC. Apparently, a big hairy deal. Hopefully we’ll find out more next week.
Eliot & Margo(lem)’s Storyline:
Finally, in another storyline, Eliot’s substance dependency has reached epic heights. Margo, freshly returned from her adventures elsewhere, takes him to an expert. Having to miss a showing of Hamilton to diagnose Eliot with a broken heart is sort of annoying, but at least things are flowing a little better for our favorite BFFs. But Margo actually has the bigger problem: she’s been cannibalized by someone who is draining her life force. Eliot drags her on a quest to resolve the issue only to discover that an old boyfriend has made a golem of Margo. A Margo-golem. A Margolem. Eliot thinks things are pretty funny, but the episode wraps with Margo having decided to hang on to her twin in case she comes in handy. And maybe she will, next week, on The Magicians.