It’s hard to believe that the first 31 Horror Films in 31 Days Challenge was -> five -> long -> years -> ago. You know what I could have accomplished in five years? Why, I could have a strapping five-year-old child by now. Or two-and-a-half two-and-a-half-year-old children—is that how it works? Or five deformed fetuses floating in mason jars?
Whatever—point is, I’ve spent every year since 2009 cramming my Octobers with horror. And do I regret one second of it?
Yes! I do! I’m throwing my life away here!
Moving on, here’s the boil-covered boilerplate:
OUR FETID FAQ:
1. Do I need to watch a movie every night?
If you are a robot and need regularity for the survival of your robot heart, yes. Otherwise, no. Just 31 total, you freak.
2. Can I watch a movie I have seen before?
Yes. Of course. Though I don’t know why’d you watch Halloween again when plenty of other movies have the word “Halloween” in them. (Hint hint—>)
3. Do I have to finish every movie?
Yes. It’s like that scene in Mommie Dearest where the kid is forced to sit at the table until she eats her gradually rotting steak. It builds character.
4. How do I play?
Use the Twitter hashtag #31HorrorFilms31Days and tweet each film along the way, complete with a brief, pithy description/review. Example:
1) RESOLUTION. Guy chains his crack-addict pal to a pipe to force him to get clean. Then things in the woods around them start to get weird. Add a six bottles of peach schnapps and you have my usual weekend.
5. How do I win?
You “win” as long as you manage 31 films before midnight on October 31. (But if you want to “really win,” you need to have the highest overall score.)
6. How is this helping the world?!
I’m glad you asked! (Though, frankly, surprised.) Our good f(r)iends over at The Blog Is Coming From the House are continuing to gather data about gender and race in horror films. In fact, last year our collective work with #31HorrorFilms31Days helped spawned this Salon.com comic. So CLICK HERE to help the cause. Do something for someone else for once, you miserable ghoul!