By April 26, 2012 0 Comments Read More →

"What rough beast slouches at your keyboard?" and Other Brutal Rejections

These people keep sending me the harshest rejection letters—but I guess I’m asking for it. I should never have submitted to them.

Dear Writer,

The void awaits us all, but your prose was a gaping hole of premature death. From your submission darkness seeped, the groaning collapse of the inept, in throes. It shocked us into brain-dead spasms, and we only recovered when a cat happened to jump on the keyboard and hit delete.

We kindly ask that you not submit again.

But one thing remains to be known: what rough beast slouches at your keyboard?

Don’t answer.

The Editors

This letter and others like it are provided by the Rejection Generator Project, a free service designed to help writers of all levels “maintain a high RI, or rejection immunity.” Because for writers there are only three certainties: death, taxes*, and rejection.

* Actually, scratch this one; most writers will never get paid for their work.



About the Author:

Keir Graff is Executive Editor of Booklist Publications and the author of five books. His most recent is the middle-grade novel, The Other Felix (2011). Follow him on Twitter at @Booklist_Keir.

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